Pundit Pap
for Sunday, Oct. 10, 2004
"John Edwards is soooo hot!"
Thus says Jane Grice as the Veep candidate makes the rounds of the Sunday talk shows
by the Pundit Pap Team
JJ Balzer | Sherrie G | Jane Grice

What a difference from four years ago.

Sure, the members of the Beltway Natterati that are allowed on television by the largely-conservative-controlled broadcast networks on the weekends to "discuss" and "analyze" lean largely to the right -- try to find a real liberal among the lot. At this time four years ago, they were deriding Al Gore -- aided and abetted by members of the press corps who were in large part biased against the Democratic candidate.

This year, ABC's George F. Will and McLaugh-In's Patrick S. Buchanan can regularly be heard railing against former Texas governor George W. Bush's policy.

Four years ago, Gore won the popular vote and had his victory Florida stolen by a corrupt, politicized judiciary with the help of the media and the Bush Boy's fixer, Uncle James Baker.

This year, the press smells blood in the water, following a week that saw twin debate trouncings of preznit "Furious George" (a label that is sticking) and his co-president, "Big Time Dick."

That's right, readers, we're seeing signs and portents that the major networks are none too pleased with the continuing crisis that is the US Economy (read: corporate profits), bringing democracy to Iraq (read: a grab for cheap oil and hueueueuge no-bid contract patronage that backfired badly), and the continuing threat of terrorist attacks against American interests (read: flogging color-coded fear).

Here's a quick tour through this Sunday's yammering.


This Week
In which boy wonder George Stephanopoulos grows a pair and smacks around one of the GOP's greasiest spinners.

In the opening one-minute news round-up, the ever-boyish George "Matthew Broderick of the Beltway" Stephanopoulos touched on "controversy" involving possible voting fraud in Afghanistan -- and an especially embarrassing clip of Condi Rice saying that there are ballot problems in "mature democracies."

Well, isn't that precious -- Condi finally understands that there were problems in Florida. Or does she? Let's face it: this formerly on-message, hyperdisciplined administration -- finding itself trapped in a contentious political campaign in which their Boy President is floundering and becoming the poster boy for walking, talking gaffes everywhere -- is looking more and more like the wacky Deltas from "Animal House" with each passing day. So much for a "mature democracy."

Noteworthy aside: Rumors that Bush himself is at least one of the people on which the "Animal House" character of Bluto Blutarsky were revived back in February with the publication Newsweek of "War Stories," an article by Evan Thomas comparing and contrasting the service of the former Texas governor and Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry.

Compare, if you will, this nugget from the article:

"When Bush entered Yale in 1964, he joined Deke, the jock fraternity, and became rush chairman, handing out the nicknames and pounding down beers at 'the longest bar on campus.'

... to one line of dialogue from Animal House, spoken by Bluto:

"From now on, your Delta Tau Chi name is Weasel..."

And then there's this:

"A favorite fighter-jock game was called Dead Bug. In a bar, when anyone shouted 'Dead bug!' everyone, including generals, had to drop to the floor with hands and feet extended into the air, like a dead bug. Last man down had to buy drinks."

One word should come to mind for connoisseurs of fine American cinema:

"GATOOOOOR!"

But we digress.

Steph then welcomed John "Marathon Man" Edwards, who had embarked

Jane Grice's favorite photo of John Edwards Jane: "He looks so rakish in this pic. Pure eye candy. John Edwards is soooo hot!"

 on a four-show tour of the Sunday political shows. Edwards praised the election in Afghanistan as a good thing, but emphatically pointed out that a big chunk of the nation is under the control of druglords and warlords. Steph ran a video clip of Bush saying he wants "tort reform" and then said that Edwards is a "trial lawyer" and didn't vote on a bill involving damages against Ob/Gyns.

(Well, golly, Steph -- maybe he had better things to do -- like run for the second-highest office in the land and liberate Ob/Gyns of George'n'Dick's struggle to prevent them from being able to present women with a full range of options when they get real, real sick late in their pregnancies.)

Edwards said Bush had been "misleading" the public -- the bill dealt with punitive damages, and Bush is in the tank to pharma manufacturers; "Over and over and over... their [i.e. the Smirk Junta's] choices have not been in the interest of the American people." Edwards said that were he in the Senate, he would vote no on limiting punitive liability, he is "not in favor of taking away the rights of the most seriously injured" and approving a bill "that favors the insurance companies." Edwards made it clear that he is against punitive damages, though, if there is no evidence of malicious conduct by doctors, and supports a review panel for submission of lawsuits.

Then Steph played part of Bush's angry rant against government involved in health care. Edwards said that the Kerry-Edwards plan is not a government program but a means to facilitate insurance for more people, finishing with a flourish by asking, "Where has he been for the last four years?" (We loved it -- painting George as angry and out of touch.) Millions of Americans, Edwards added, would be covered under their plan -- and catastrophic care would be included. Edwards mocked Bush's lying about their plan being a big government plan.

Hey, Republicans: can your candidate do this?

Then Steph ran a clip of Kerry and Edwards mocking Junior for not answering a question posed by one woman during the town hall debate Friday night asking him to name his three biggest mistakes. John Edwards deferred to Kerry -- and said Kerry was a champion of lower taxes. Edwards did name a few of moves he now considers mistakes: approving Rod Paige as Secretary of Education based on an inflated record (that, and Paige called some teachers "terrorists"), voting to go to war with Iraq because Bush provided bad intelligence about Iraq's WMDs -- Edwards said that he believed that Saddam had 'em due to the Bush Boy's doctored intelligence.

Finally, Steph said Bush has a slight lead; what do Kerry and Edwards plan to do with three weeks to go? Let people know what has happened in the last four years, said Edwards, especially on the subjects of the trashed economy and Iraq.

Following the break, it was time for two top campaign spinners to relive the thrills, the spills, the turgid joy of Friday's "hooey in Saint Louie" (as we called it in our home page Newswire -- only to find that at least one clever blogger had beaten up to the punch -- oh, well, at least great minds think alike). We were treated to Kerry advisor Joe Lockhart vs. Bush scam-paign chair Ken Mehlman. Now, Mehlman isn't quite as oily as RNC Chair-thug Ed "Sleaze Weasel" Gillespie, who looks like a slick McCarthy-era tobacco lawyer.

 

Unfortunately, Mehlman doesn't come across quite as smoothly as Gillespie -- whenever Mehlman falls back on the rote campaign talking points, you can Mehlman forcing himself to sound animated even though his voice contains just a hint of wood (specifically, the lumber interests owned by his boss, George Bush Jr.).

 

Here's the insta-summary, ultra-condensed micro-transcript, blow by blow (or, in Mehlmen's case, blown opportunities.

 

Mehlman: Massachusetts liberal! Big government! He's gonna NATIONALIZE health care!

 

Steph: That's not true -- look it up on factcheck-dot-org!

(Here's what it says on factcheck.org: "A Bush ad claims Kerry's healthcare proposals would put 'big government in charge' of medical decisions. In fact, Kerry's plan would leave 97% with the insurance they have now -- while up to 27 million who aren't insured would gain coverage. Bush's claim turns out to be based on opinions from two conservative advocates whose predictions aren't supported by neutral experts.")

 

Mehlman [following a stunned silence and look of shock as he realizes that Steph has wandered off the reservation]: But... but... it creates an incentive for businesses to throw people off their plans! It'll turn medical care into "The DMV!"

Lockhart: Bush has "no credibility" on health care. Facts -- premiums are up under the Chimp, less people are covered. Look at factcheck.org, talk to neutral parties. The Kerry plan pools costs. This administration has allowed insurers, HMOs and Big PHRMA to write legislation.

Mehlman: Uh, er, Kerry is... suddenly for medical liability reform! Flip-flop!

[Lockhart started to talk about no Bush plan -- then actually did something we've been waiting for a Democrat to do on Sunday morning: he shut Ken Mehlman up when Mehlman tried to interrupt! That seven second clip should be played to EVERY Democrat who appears on cable news and the Sunday shows -- the GOP has been using the "interrupt and shout down" tactic for over a decade, and Lockhart would have none of it.]

Lockhart: The Kerry plan does not do what big corporate plans want, but does weed out nuisance and frivolous suits.

Mehlman: "Medical savings plans good! Patients have the power!"
Stephanopoulos: Bush and Cheney say Kerry's inconsistent on Iraq. (Clip of Cheney saying two non-mutually-exclusive statements).

Lockhart: Bush said he was "disappointed" that Saddam had WMDs. Stop and think about that: why would he be "disappointed" that a madman lacks WMDs?

Mehlman: "America's safer!" Kerry "opposed" the defeat of the Soviet Union! Kerry wanted to "gut intelligence!"

Steph [ruefully]: The Duelfer report completely demolished any claim that Saddam had WMDs -- and former Iraq Viceroy Paul Bremer said he wanted more boots on the ground.

Mehlman: Saddam had a plan to evade sanctions! Ooooh, scary! Horrors! In a post-9/11 world, Kerry ignores "the smoking gun."

Lockhart: The 1500-page report devastates the rationale for war. Of course Saddam tried to thwart sanctions [translation: This Week viewers aren't rubes like your "core constituents," Kenny!], of course he tried to game the oil-for-food program. Iran has ties to Al Qaeda, not Iraq -- despite what Dick says. Bush? Oh, he says never makes mistakes, but he wants four more years to make mistakes, like ignoring North Korea -- and he'll blunder in like he did in Iraq.

Mehlman: But... but... Kerry called Saddam an imminent threat! Kerry couldn't stand up to John Dean in Iowa!

Stephanopoulos: Don Imus says Bush connects with the public better than Kerry.

Lockhart: Kerry will connect. Look at the first two debates: the GOP called Kerry a flip-flopper and that doesn't stick. Then look at Bush shouting, "Ya can run but ya can't hide." That's not sticking either. "Furious George, in the last two debates, has been a miserable failure."

You go, Joe! Talk about a great last word.

And we take back what we said about the seven seconds above. Every single Democratic communications professional and strategist should get their hands on the above This Week segment to see how a real communications pro deflates a Republican Zen Spinmeister.

We zoned out during the roundtable segment, mostly because once again Cokie Roberts surfaced like a herpes blister. Someone at ABC is still protecting this intellectually dishonest, faux-moralist Beltway biddy. As a political commentator she is completely worthless, representing that faction of the electorate that lives in DC proper, assumes that being a gracious hostess actually has an effect on political culture, and arrogantly holds in contempt anyone from outside the Beltway who dares to make their views known in "their" Washington. Also on the panel: Fareed Zakaria, Mark Halperin, George Will. Yep -- a real balanced roundtable: moderates Steph, Zakaria, and Halperin plus two Paleocons.

The panel would not come out and admit the obvious: while they tried to claim the race is a virtual tie, they ignore a number of analyses showing Kerry edging out Bush in electoral votes and didn't even mention a story that has the Bush Cadre very worried: young voters registering en masse, a phenomenon that could have a real impact on legislative races as well as the race for 1600 Penn. They conceded a "slight" Kerry win and danced around Bush inability to admit that he makes mistakes. Cokie, moralist prude that she is, insisted that abortion would win it for Bush -- and we almost laughed out loud as Zakaria scoffed at her assertion.

I swear, Cokie is trapped in the 1980s...

It's also worth noting toward the end of the show, Steph showed photos of that strange bulge and what looked like a wire underneath the Texas Dauphin's jacket during the first debate -- and admitted that there are questions about exactly what it was. Was the Bush Boy "wired for sound"?

We think so -- in fact, it was such a resounding "success" for Bush that we hope he does it again this coming Wednesday during his final debate with Kerry!

-- JJ Balzer